Ways to be intimidating
This covers the spectrum from higher ups at work, love interests, people we don't know at parties, popular people from school or the office, even celebrities. Often people we look up to (or those who we just don't know who seem cool) can bring up feelings we harbor about ourselves that we are not good enough, smart enough, interesting enough. We are all made from the same source and the truth is -- and this is repeated in many spiritual scriptures "we are all special and we are all not special." We are all equal, my friends. So, yeah, I'm a weak, imperfect person." Even wolves get scared!
We are also beautifully different from one another, too -- which means all of us have some unique value and flavor to add to a conversation or social setting. Here are some reasons why other people should not intimidate you: 1. The fear of others is generated within us, not by the person in question.
In the previous piece about being assertive with people who intimidate you, we talked about clarifying your values, starting small and shifting your thinking about the intimidating person.
That is, we can change our perception of the person, so we no longer feel intimidated by them. Today, we’re talking about other tools you can use.
“The stakes are higher with people you care deeply about, so expressing a difference or a preference can more intimidating because the risk of loss is higher.”“[I]ntimidation, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder,” said Diann Wingert, LCSW, BCD, a therapist and coach with a private practice in Pasadena, Calif.“You say yes when you mean no, which leads to resentment and a sense that you’re invisible.